Becoming God Read online

  In the stream of Shastra, the martial art, Shiv initiated a revolutionary change by introducing a completely new system based on his belief in compassion: not conflict, defence: not offence, and healing: not hurting. He did not lend credence to the legendary weapons of mass destruction, which were much talked about by students and teachers in the classes. He distanced himself even from the Dhanurvidya, the science of archery, and Lauhmusthi, the swordsmanship. Armed with firm belief in compassion, Shiv would insist that compassion could be a competent weapon to fight against any evil. However, after persistent arguments from his friends, he accepted Vajramushti, the pugilism, as a means of self-defence, but with certain reservations. He improved on Vajramushti by bringing in various innocuous angles to it, and presented a new system of defence trussed up by slight offence. He identified eighteen sensitive spots in human body and evolved manners and measures of causing hits with fists in order to concuss or invalidate an opponent for a brief period. In evolving the method of such hitting he insisted on his avowed policy of causing the least hurt to anybody, even a sworn enemy. He hoped that the method could further be evolved, after research and experiments, as a system of healing by causing measured hitting on certain parts of human body. He named it Marmaaghat, meaning hitting the vital spots.

  Shiv’s teachers did not appreciate his approach to the study of Shastra, and insisted that Shiv should do some work on a real weapon. Reluctantly, Shiv developed a new weapon named Trishul, trident, by improvising and adding two more blades to a simple spear. But, fearing that the weapon invented by him could be used in causing harms to creatures, he hurriedly framed some strict rules for those wielding a trident, insisting that only those who could maintain equipoise even on the face of grave provocation could qualify for wielding a trident. He epitomised this ideal himself by adhering to the rule while carrying the trident.

  3.4

  As was his wont, Panini was concerned about advancement of knowledge and improvement on education. His concern brought him to the realization that people needed a dynamic language to cater to the needs of growing quest for knowledge. Though he appreciated the communication skill of the rishis, he was aware that people would not limit themselves to singing hymns only, and would certainly need to move ahead towards secular knowledge. He felt the need to move away from the archaic language of Vedas and seek a language for free thinkers. He wanted to create a structured communication channel, which could be accepted universally. For this, he needed to evolve a set of rules and patterns, followed by all.

  Panini was busy with the project, making experiments through agitated days and sleepless nights. He tried all what were humanly possible, but failed miserably. His dream seemed shattered.

  Panini had little faith in the gods resident in the sky, and therefore he never ventured to pray to them for help. He believed that help for a demotic language should come from someone earthly. But he again failed in his search of a person who could lead him to the accomplishment of his enterprise. The failure made him desperate; he was on the brink of insanity.

  Eventually, a ray of hope glimmered when he thought of seeking help from Shiv, a person who he believed was a living god. But his delight soon dashed when Shiv denied divinity being thrust upon him. Panini was firm in his belief, invoking Shiv that his arrival on the earth was meant for the welfare of people. Shiv eventually yielded to the persistent pressure from his guru.

  On the new moon night in that spring, Panini reached Tekri, a knoll at a secluded place along the upstream Ganga, where Shiv used to go secretly for meditation. Crouching behind a bush, Panini remained awake the whole night. In the brahmamuhurta, the hour of gods, early in the morning, when it was a thick silence all around, Panini heard beats of Shiv’s damru wafting from a far rock. The sonorous sound of the damru cast such a magic spell on Panini that he fell in deep trance, conscious only to the beats of the damaru:

  Aiun - rilrik – eon – aiauch - haivarat – lan – namanaņanam – jhabhan – ghadhadhas - javagadadas – khaphachathathacatatav – kapay - śaşasar – hal.

  These fourteen sound notes hammered at the door of Panini’s inner consciousness, opening it to revelation. Panini remained there for hours immersed in enlightenment. The next evening, he returned, as if possessed, to his hut and retired, drowning himself in deep meditation. Two days later, he awoke charged with power to perceive what Shiv had intended to convey to him through the beats. Panini succeeded in decoding the sound notes, which were otherwise unintelligible to ordinary people. He found fifty-one letters of alphabet of a language, which was subsequently known as laukik, demotic, Sanskrit. He would treat these fifty-one alphabets very reverentially and believed that each letter of the alphabet was source of great energy. Out of deference to them, he fancied wearing varnamala, garland of letters, around his neck.

  Panini raised a great edifice of grammar on the foundation of the fourteen sound notes, celebrated later as the Shiv Sutra, Shiv’s formula. Panini’s great creation was famously known as the Ashtadhyayi, the eight-chapter book. It earned him reverence across the world as a pioneer in the field of grammar and linguistics, serving as a beacon light for the millennia to come.

  3.5

  Special convocation was organized to confer the degree of Acharya, the Masters, on Shiv on completion of his studies. Panini, the Kulpati, honoured Shiv by wrapping a garland of Rudraksh beads around the conch-shaped bun on his head. While conferring the degree, Panini bowed down to Shiv, with folded hands, tears in eyes, and crying: “Lord, Lord”.

  The whole assembly was stunned to see the Kulpati stooping so low to a student. Sensing the strangeness of the situation, Shiv swiftly raised Panini up in his arms and touched his feet, saying: “Gurudev, I am your Shiv, not a Lord.”

  Panini, unable to control his emotions, left the dais in a haste and ran towards his residence. Shiv was surrounded by the teachers and students who barraged him with queries, asking whether he was some Lord. Shiv emphatically denied, bemoaning that they were doing their Shiv an injustice by unnecessarily pushing him to the uncalled for divinity.

  Panini, the Kulpati, was himself present along with whole of the university people, breaking all barriers of protocol, to see off Shiv on the occasion of his departure from Vishwayatan. Two students, who had just completed their studies, were detailed, with a secret briefing from the Kulpati, to accompany Shiv up to the border of Surkshetra.

  Panini was again overwhelmed with emotions over separation from Shiv. Though he tried his best not to betray his feelings so that not to give one more occasion to the teachers and students to suspect Shiv’s real identity, he failed. His bizarre behaviour stoked the suspicion further that Shiv was God incarnate. When confronted for confirmation of the suspected godhood by his friends with whom he studied for five years, Shiv just smiled to reject their conjecture, and to indicate that the assumption was caused due to intense meditations by the headstrong Maharshis, and, of course, their kindness and affection to him.

  3.6

  On the seventh day, Shiv and party crossed the wooden bridge over the rivulet and stood on the border of Surkshetra. The leader of the team, who was confidentially briefed by Panini, asked them to stay there for a while, and went away, hurriedly counting twenty paces in the north-eastern direction. He looked for a tall deodar tree with a figure of human face appearing engraved on its trunk. From there, he went hundred and eight paces towards east and found a huge walnut tree. As instructed, he climbed the tree, went up to the branch forking out towards north, and was successful in finding out a thin rope tied with the branch. He pulled the rope five times so that he could, as was told, send a signal to Maharshi Ne that some friendly people were waiting for him at the border near the wooden bridge.

  After about two hours, a group of rishis led by Maharshi Ne arrived there. The team leader took Maharshi Ne promptly aside to privacy and handed over him a small wooden casket given by Panini. Ne retrieved from the casket a bhojpatra, the birch bark, containing a message written in code
s known only to a close group of Maharshi cronies. Quickly deciphering the message, Ne was astounded to know how the Lord had revealed the sutras of language to Panini. He was so stunned that he stared at Shiv stupefied for some moments. He bowed Shiv with an abundant reverence, while others were busy in attending to Shiv’s companions, taking them to a hut erected for use as a guest house, where they were lodged to rest and then to go back.

  Shiv was taken straight to Maharshi Ne’s Ashram. The next day, he was taken by the Maharshi into the interior of the forest, where he was shown the Som plant, and the next two days he was taught by the Maharshi the process of preparing and enriching Somras. It was for the first time in the history of Surkshetra that the tradition of passing the knowledge of Somras from one Maharshi to another in complete privacy was broken and an outsider was made privy to the science.

  3.7

  Maharshi Ne had become a committed devotee of Shiv, though Shiv would play it down. Spurred by Panini’s account about how Shiv had revealed sutras to him, Ne often appealed fervently to Shiv that he be blessed with a vision of the Absolute Truth. Though initially reluctant, Shiv, under persistent petitions from Ne, relented, speaking: “You need not seek Truth as it would dawn on you at an opportune time, when you are ready for that. When this opportune time will occur nobody knows. So, one should remain in readiness to receive the Truth as it may come anytime, in any form, through any channel.”

  Ne sensed what Shiv was alluding to, and remained in readiness to receive the Truth. He closed his school sine die, put a ban on visitors, and indulged in extreme austerities with a view to prepare himself for the ultimate gain. Oblivious of Ne’s preparations, Shiv remained immersed, most of the time, in deep meditation, and when not, would bask in trance, playing damru leisurely.

  One day, after meditation for almost the whole day, Shiv started playing his damru in the evening:

  Dim dim dim dim Dimuk dimuk dim

  Dim dim dim dum Dimuk dimuk dum

  Dim dim dum dum Dum dimik dimik dim

  Dum dum dum dim Dumuk dumuk dum

  Dim dum dim dum Dimuk dim dimuk dim.

  Ne was initially incognisant of the beats, remaining insouciant that it was a routine of Shiv to thus play his damru. But, soon, he discovered that the sound was different that day, it was calling, it was pulling, it was compelling, it was revealing something. When he fine-tuned his attention, he realized that the sound was loaded with some commandments:

  I am immortal, come to me.

  I am Truth, come to me.

  I am Consciousness; come to me.

  I am Bliss, come to me.

  I live in Now, I am in All.

  Come tearing the veil off.

  Come post-haste, come complete.

  I am waiting for you.

  I am the Ultimate in You.

  By the time Shiv finished playing damru, Ne was in deep meditation. Shiv caressed Ne’s head affectionately, pushing him further to the depth of consciousness. The whole night, the whole day and the whole next night, Ne was in deep meditation. On the next morning, he came to his senses, and bowed at the feet of Shiv who stood there patting on his back with his right hand.

  Ne revelled in union with Shiv and attained sayujya, the ultimate identification of the individual with the Supreme. Eventually, he arose, uttering Shivoham, Shivoham, I am Shiv, I am Shiv. It led him to subsequently evolve the non-dualistic discipline of devotion to Shiv by name of Ahamagrahopasna, the worship by supreme assertion.

  Though Ne admitted that the supreme bliss of union with Shiv was ineffable, he authored a book titled Shiv Samaadesh, the Commandments of Shiv, explaining and elaborating the mystic maxims received from beats of Shiv’s damru.

  3.8

  Shiv wanted to return to his village in Deul; to be with his Nandi, his Dhenu, Gannu, and Bhero. He had been missing them for quite long. He was aware that the punishment pronounced on him by the village court was still waiting for him. But he was free from all fears now. The university education had empowered him with an intellectual toughness, and spiritual awakening by persistent practice of Trinetra Meditation had elevated him to the highest level of self-actualisation. Divinity had dawned on him as destined and designed by Mother Goddess.

  3.9

  Back home at his village Lohtsa, Shiv went straight to the house of his friend Gannu. Gannu was delighted to see Cheu who, he immediately noticed, was a completely changed person. Cheu was glowing with a divine aura, looking very handsome and youthful. He had a new hairstyle - hair tied on head in a conch-shaped bun decorated with a circlet of some brown beads, which he called Rudraksh. He was wearing bracelets of Rudraksh on his wrists and arms, besides a garland of Rudraksh hanging from his neck across his chest down unto navel. Most astonishing was his tiger-skin robe wrapped around his waist, instead of the goatskin. Gannu was fascinated by trishul Cheu was holding in his right hand, and the damru hanging from the middle blade of the trishul. Gannu asked many questions about them, closely scrutinizing and touching them. He prided in his friend’s intelligence and innovation for inventing such great things. But he was astounded to know that his friend was no more Cheu but Shiv. Gannu though liked the sonority of the new name.

  Shiv, on the other hand, was desperate to know about the people of his village Lohtsa and those of the rival village Thongsa. Gannu was more inclined to know more and more about Shiv – the places he visited and the people he met. Shiv sulked and denied to divulge anything more about him until Gannu talked about the villagers.

  Gannu informed that Thokan, the Goba of village Thongsa, had died, and his son Kenka, a devious person and a childhood opponent of Shiv, was now Goba. Shiv’s Nandi was well, but Dhenu had died. Shiv was peeved over sad news of Dhenu’s death as she was like his mother, having reared him as a child with her milk.

  Shiv pressed Gannu to tell more about Dhenu and what caused her death. Gannu wanted to close the matter by telling in a huff that she died because of old age. But when he saw Shiv still sulking, he told in a hushed voice that his uncle Bilotu had killed her. Shiv’s face immediately turned red with rage, but trying to keep his cool he urged Gannu to tell the details without fear.

  Soon after Shiv had fled from Deul, Dhenu had gone dry. She was disinclined to give milk. Bilotu was enraged that Dhenu was not too old to be spared. He doubted that Dhenu was deliberately withholding her milk. Initially, he coaxed her into behaving but when he found her more obstinate he started perpetrating excesses on her, first beating her and Nandi with sticks and then denying fodder to them. He later spared Nandi, considering him useful for the family. But Dhenu for want of food and frequent beatings grew very old and weak. One day, Bilotu pushed her from a cliff, and spread a rumour that Dhenu died due to falling accidently. Later, he collected beef from the glens and ate it all up happily, along with his family.

  From Gannu’s home, Shiv went straight to the cliff from where Dhenu was pushed down. His eyes welled up with tears, thinking how mother Dhenu could have suffered immense pain when fallen in the glen. Shiv climbed down slowly from the cliff and tracing the site reached the place where Dhenu might have fallen. He sat in meditation there, offering prayers for the departed creature.

  The next day, Shiv climbed the mountain, looking for a suitable place where he could plant the seedlings of Rudraksha and Som, which were gifted to him by Maharshi Panini and Maharshi Ne, respectively. He soon spotted a terrace on the lee side of a huge rock, and planted the saplings. With his knowledge in agriculture earned at Vishwayatan, he made improvisations to create conditions conducive to plantation.

  Shiv climbed up further, looking for a hideout to set up his laboratory for preparing and enriching Somras. He found one such place closer to the Kailash peak.

  Shiv eventually reached the snow-clad Kailash peak, dreaded as abode of spirits and ghosts. He was overawed with serenity and illumination prevailing at the peak. He enjoyed being there, and wished that it could be a home to him, where he could pursue tapasya, the austerities, leaving b
ehind bickerings of the villages below. Ridiculing that the people unnecessarily feared this serene place, he laughed heartily. He was happy that he might carry on his meditations at the peak undisturbed by the people.

  3.10

  Back home, Shiv was not welcomed by his uncle Bilotu. But, the young girls and boys of the family were attracted to him, though for different reasons - girls due to Shiv’s sultry masculinity, and boys because of Shiv’s trishul and damru, and his hairstyle and Rudraksh. Nevertheless, none dared to let Shiv stay with the family for fear of Bilotu. Shiv staked claim to his right to stay at his home at Lohtsa, arguing with Bilotu that the house belonged to his Ba. He had, however, to withdraw, when Bilotu grew aggressive, and rejected even Shiv’s demand for owning Nandi. Shiv did not like squabbles with Bilotu over right to stay with the family who had no love for him. It was Nandi only in the family, who deserved love from Shiv. That’s why, while fleeing to the Kailash, Shiv walked Nandi also.